That's what He assumed
by Slashed-silhouette
Summary: It's written to amuse, not a serious story. It will get even more stupid in future, don't worry. Major Tendershipping with minor puzzle, bronze, maybe even puppy. I REGRET NOTHING! T for swearing and "fun" stuff.
1. Chapter 1 - Seem is the key word

Hey guys. This is my first fanfic ever. It's tendershipping with minor puzzle, puppy and bronzeshipping. It's supposed to be **_funny_. **English is not my native language so sorry for all the grammar errors (I don't trust Openoffice spellcheck but I use it anyway...). Whatever, on with the story! I DON'T OWN YUGIOH!

* * *

**December the 3****rd****. Snowy park in Domino city.**

**Umm yug, what'ya doin' here?** - asked Jounouchi observing Yugi Mouto sitting on the bench biting his lip nervously.

**- Uh, Jou, remember when Atem tried to help Malik get rid of Mariku? We kinda...failed.**

**-Wha duya mean "****failed****"?** - The starfish-head got the blonde boy confused.

**-Ummm, we kinda...tried to destroy the feeling which held Mariku's existence, the pain and anger and we kinda...uhh...let's just say he is able to uh...develop feelings.** - Yugi blushed at the memory of Mariku acting like a 6 year old boy (Which is partially true) **glompin**g Malik and saying.._.things_.

Jou seemed to get it. Seemed is the key word.

**-What 'bout that Bakura guy exorcism then?**

**-Mutt, since when do you know such complicated words?** - The voice of a young billionaire could be heard from distance.

**-Go away Kaiba! Ain't nobody asked you t' be here!** - yelled annoyed teenager.

**-Actually I did.** – muttered Yugi. He took his deck and passed Kaiba his Dark magician.

**-Told you that pharaoh of yours would fuck it all up. Congratulations of giving three psychos their own bodies.** – fumed Kaiba.

**-Yug, you did WHAT EXACTLY?**

**-The brat made a bet with me, if the starhish-head pharaoh manages to give himself a body and annihilate the pineapple-head and the albino psychopath he gets my BEWD. If he fucks up, wich he did** – Yugi curled into a ball of shame –** I get the dark magician. The idiot actually provided them both human bodies.**

**-It wasn't all his fault, someone must have messed up with Ishizu's spell.**

**-New bet that it was Malik?**

**-I'M NOT FRICKING BETTING WITH YOU ANYMORE.** - Yugi ran away. The two were left dumbfounded. They just stared at each other.

**-I really feel like insulting you today, puppy.**

Furious cries were heard many miles away...

* * *

**MANY MILES AWAY (Not really, just few kilometers away - at the flat owned by Ryou Bakura, evening)**

**-There is no way you are borrowing my stuff. And no way I'm taking you to shopping mall either.**

**- Scared I would misbehave or steal something precious, huh, yadonushi? Or should I just call you Ryou? Since you are not my landlord anymore?** - Said Bakura playfully.

Yes, he decided to call himself Bakura Touzokou. Ryou gulped. He was still scared of his new flatmate. He knew Bakura still hates Atem but after getting new life...maybe it won't be that bad? And calling him by his first name was fast...not that he minded. It would be weird, both of them calling each other 'Bakura'. And Bakura seemed to cool a little. In spite of returning home with Ryou's favorite shirt bloodstained yesterday (He'd never seen the little albino so furious before and whose blood was it anyway? probably the neighbour's...or her dog...) He wasn't such a bad flatmate after all. He spent most of the day sleeping on the couch or drinking with Mariku, the other not-really-psychopath-anymore. Ryou sighed.

**-Then fucking decide what are we going to do with that** – the taller white-haired boy groaned in annoyance.

**-You are staying here, I'm going to cal**- He was interrupted in the middle of sentence by the phone. Ryou ran to answer it.

**-RYOUYOUARETOTALLYGOINGWITHMETOTHEMALLTODAYINEEDSO METHINGFORMARIKUTOWEARANDALSOSOMENEWMIDRIFFSHOWING SHIRTSFORMETOOAND'HI'BYTHEWAY.** - Malik yelled into the phone excited.

**-Uh, Malik, I was never happier to get such an offer** "_More like I was never happy to get such an offer"_ - Answered Ryou and Bakura raised his eyebrow, they still shared the bond and mind-link and Ryou being capable of such sarcasm...impressed him.

**- Then it's settled. Tomorrow at 10 o'clock...**- blah blah, Bakura wasn't eavesdropping the conversation anymore. He fell on the couch and immediately fell asleep. Ryou ended the phone call and with a smile on his face he couldn't explain, he covered the sleeping one with a blanket.

* * *

**The house of Mouto, evening the same day**

**-Yugi, what you did is extremely stupid.** - Atem hated being mad at Yugi. He actually started developing some feelings for him he couldn't quite understand. But they lost the dark magician after all...

Yugi lowered his head and to his surprise, two slightly tanned arms embraced him. He heard his darker side whisper – _Don't worry, we will get it back somehow. Just give me few days to settle things up. In exchange I need something._

**-What is it?** - asked Yugi, still shocked, slightly blushing.

**- Umm, could you get me some clothes?**** I'm a little taller and you know...I don't want to be a _burden_** - Atem pulled off of Yugi and left their room. There were no problems with Yugi's grandpa. The hours spent on talking about card games and ancient Egypt were precious for both of them. They were in really good terms.

The starfish-headed boy still sitting on his bed wondered _"Now what in the name of Ra am I going to do?"_

* * *

**The day at the mall**

Malik kept squeaking like a little girl.

-Why am I even here? – groaned both Ryou and Yugi. What a synchrony it was...

-**Which corset is better? The purple one or the black one?**

_- You will look like a man whore in any of them_ – thought Ryou and immediately bit his tongue. _- I even started swearing. Bakura is such a bad influence._

_- I heard that_ – answered Bakura in Ryou's mind amused as hell. -_I don't want to see Malik right know, do I?_

- Ryou closed his end of mind-link annoyed to seventh hell and promised to himself to get Bakura the weirdest clothes he could find. Malik could be helpful now...

They spent a lot of time in the mall buying clothes and chatting as well. None of them said it all of them suspected the other two of having the slightest crush on their yamis. And Ra were they true. Malik almost admitted it actually. Asked about Mariku's "loving" (more like "lusty") behavior made from the hate he plainly explained "Every clock ticks in it's own way" and blushed which left the other two dumbfounded and...amazed.

**-Malik Ishtar. You said something...intelligent. You actually protected your yami.** – whispered the midget half joking half serious. The whitenette blushed, suddenly remembering what he had done the evening before. Yugi caught that. Some time after, they returned to their homes. Malik smiling happily at the sight of almost naked Mariku surrounded by bottles of vodka on the floor and Ryou nervous with Bakura still asleep. He won't like the clothes. No frigging way..

* * *

**Yugi's room.**

**-Yami of mine, call the I-am-so-perfect-with-my-money-my-BEWD-and-my-anti- gravity-coats-billionaire for another bet!** - yelled Yugi as he threw shopping bags on the floor.

**- W-what kind of bet?** - Asked Atem surprised by no "hello" or anything as Yugi sat on the bed next to him and grabbed his hand with excitement.

**- Tell him that if we hook the two Albinos up in a month, we get our card back.**

**- Oh, little one, I'm so happy you started thinking about how we can get our card bac-WAIT WHAT?!**

* * *

How do you like the beggining? It's going to be even more stupid than it is now...You just wait *insert evil grin* **Ra,whatamIdoingwithmylifekillme**

Is Jou going to rip Kaiba's head of?

How strong Mariku's hangover will be tomorow?

What will Bakura say to his new wardrobe?

Will Malik hallucinate and catch Yugi's marihuana-leaf-shaped-hair on fire?

Everything in the next chapter :3


	2. Chapter 2 - Keeping him near me

**At the Ishtar's**

**- Yugi, Do you know your hair looks like weed?**

**- Go home Malik … you are high.**

**- Your parents were high when you happened! Look at the size of your eyes...You are clearly high 27/4! Hold my dinosaur I'm going to the toilet.**

**- So we got one drunken psycho, one high attention whore and one very ugly...albino prostitute. Sweet.** - Kaiba was certainly not amused by this. HE-WAS-NOT. Okay, maybe he was.

That's how very pissed Touzokou Bakura found himself in midriff-showing black shirt, leather pants and only socks on his feet (since he declined to wear cowboy boots) at the party the Ishtars organized. Ishizu and Odion where off no one knew where and Mariku took advantage of it.

Where did they get weed? Well, Mariku got quite rich since he started working at weaponry testing. It amuses him quite alot...You cannot say the same thing about his mannequins though. But the new version of the bazooka he checked is working just fine!

The said Egyptian was groaning in pain sitting in the corner at the moment. First hangover in his new life. Could've been worse...It got awfully quiet since Malik disappeared.

Ryou, Yugi, Yami, Tea [_No Tea bashing in my fics, sorry]_ Tristan and Joey kept drinking their coffee peacefully talking about FRIENDSHIP [_Or maybe? xD]_

Ryou couldn't help sending unsure glances towards his darker half.

Bakura felt like puking rainbows. Finally Joey and Kaiba started arguing over something and their mad voices fixed his mood a little bit. When they finally left for their home, Bakura wanted to ask Ryou about the blanket he found over himself but eventually decided not to do it.

_'Yadonushi is already scared as hell whenever I'm near-by, fucking hell, I' not THAT scary, Am I?'_

Yami pretended to be listening to their conversation while he kept observing everyone including Bakura and Mariku. He was still on his guard thinking The yamis might want to hold onto the "revenge" but since they promised to give it up to stay alive...

* * *

**At Yugi's**

**-Uhh, That was fun, wasn't it?** - Yuugi plopped on his bed, quite tired. Yami sat on his own new bed located near the opposite wall.

**- I...tought about what you told me, Hikari. I can clearly see Malik is getting on well with the psycho, I'm not quite sure if Mariku is a good influence but They seem to be doing fine. Do you really thing that would work with Ryou?**

**- But i wanted to play Cupid soo much!** - whined his light.

**- Yugi, are you sure they didn't give you...anything suspicious?** - Yami paled a little when he noticed the first symptoms of sugar highness.

_'I will be needing a staight-jacket, a muffle and something to make him calm down...Damn this days parties, there was no such thing back in MY times!'_

* * *

**At the Ishar's**

_'I was afraid there would be more to clean! I have no idea who threw up in the bathroom but it seemed to happen only...once. Succes, isn't it?' - _Malik focused on hapilly counting the damage (Seto has already paid for the table Joey threw at him). He also prepaired some painkillers for mariku when he wakes up.

_'He was always there for me, Am I just repaying him or is it something more? _- He wondered.

_'Nah, just repayment. He wouldn't see Me that way. He is just palying with me everytime he says soemthing „seductive". But if I can just live like today everyday spreading chaos with Him, spending time with Him stealing candy from children and setting things on fire...I want to keep it that way. Destroying this friendship would be the worst thing in my life_ – He smiled in a sad way, memories from his past spent in the tomb coming back to him again. - _There has not been and won't ever be saddest thing that losing it. Even father...I will keep Mariku as long as i can.'I wonder if He is happy.' – _The tanned teenager looked at his yami once again and left closing the doors quietly behind him.

He scanned the house once again.

**- Nee-san and Odion can come home now...without coming through heart attack. **- malik managed not to break into laughter.

* * *

Uh, sorry for the late update. I couldn't come up with anything adorable enough to fit above. Any ideas for more tendershippnig scenes? My arms are opened for your suggestions ^^ i have a little plan that i want to try in next chapter, clifhanger maybe...

Sorry if you find Malik's conclusions too messy and OCC but I think he isn't a moron after all!

I know it's a cracfic but some pure love won't do harm, right?

Review to let me know about my awful grammar and shitty plot ^^


	3. Chapter 3 - Scaredy cats (rewritten)

**I still don't own Yugioh! But I will be sewing myself a Ryou-plushie soon :3**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

**Mutou _''Residence''_**

- 'What did He mean by **„I don't want to be a burden"? He is always welcomed here' **– mused Yugi as he poured tea into Ryou's cup.

**-'Yugi, have you ever considered he is...still guilty about inhabiting your body before the Gods' intervention?'** - the Brit asked silently, quite unsteadily also.

**-'Oh my, I haven't thought about that. Do you think so?'**

Ryou folded his hands on his lap.

**-'Maybe I'm just overreacting but I can't help but see that glipmse of something like guilt in Bakura's eyes all the time. It makes me feel really awful. You know? I'm aware that I should feel bad when he is sad but I can't help hoping he cares... I shouldn't enjoy seeing him feel awkward, should I?'**

Yugi closed his eyes. That was just what he needed. Sharing his reflections with another person which understeands Him so well. Not just because they were both hikaris. Sudenly there was a knock on the doors and Grandpa's voice was heard:

**- 'Yugi, are you there? White haired agressive young men is waiting downstairs muttering something about „cursed midgets".'**

**- 'Oh shit.'**

**- 'Oh bugger.'**

Ryou glanced at the clock – '_Bloody hell' _– passed Grandpa by, ran down the stairs and yelled quick goodbyes.

* * *

** The pavement (Aren't you bored with the titles already?)**

_'-Fan-fucking-tastic. Just when I tried to fucking show some concern, he is fucking scared more than ever.'_ - bakura kicked a can laying on the sidewalk as he walked with nervous Ryou trying to keep up his pace. - '_Never listening to bloody Pharaoh's „pieces of advice" again. Ever. Where were we supposed to go along with the plan? Right. The park. Fucking chlidren, fucking squirrels, fucking „getting along with people", fucking bonds, fucking „affection thing".'_

The former spirit was **quite** pissed off you could say...

Ryou picked up the can and threw it into the nearest thrashcan. He sighed as he notted that his yami didn't even stop and wait for him lost in his thoughts.

* * *

**Really tired of titles by now. Hiding in a game shop.**

** - 'They passed us by, I don't think they noticed. That imbecile is still playing the **_**tough guy,**_** isn't he?'**

**-'I feel the urge to punch him in the face. He is so fricking lucky to get attention from his hikari while i get nothing! Hope he burns in hell** '– Mariku could be considered Bakura's friend. Probably that's why he wished him that. He wouldn't be _alone_ in hell at least.

**-'Hard time with coping with your oblivious hikari?'**

**- 'You are not the one to talk, !'**

**- 'Ooooh, you did not say that, pineapple-head!'**

**- 'Ooooh, I think I did, starfish-head!'**

If Mariku weren't like 180cm tall and so well built, Yami would have attacked him right and there. But he wanted some more time among mortals, so he pushed the thought away.

- **'By the way, isn't malik organising yet another party this weekend?'**

**- 'Ra, I hope not. I want to spend time with him alone and there are always stupid people around. '**

Former pharaoh ignored the hidden insult.

* * *

Malik glanced at Yugi and muttered madly.

**- 'Stupid Yami doing things without me.'**

He brushed his blonde hair from his shoulders, crossed his arms and huffed.

**- 'Just because i look so girly doesn't mean anything. I MAYBE LIKE TO CAUSE CHAOS AND MAYHEM TOO? Yugi...are you even listening?'**

- **'Malik, please, explain one thing. Why is it that almost everyone I know go through my house daily?'** - Yugi smiled lightly. - '**Not that I complain, it's nice to know you're needed.'**

That's when the Egyptian found himself kind of selfish. He looked his friend straight in the eyes and whispered:

**- 'Hey, he woudn't feel guilty if he didn't care.'**

- **'But that's the point! He doesn't have to! I want him to feel like this house was his own!'**

**- 'Yugi, he was an Egyptian pharaoh...'**

**- 'Besides...RYOU TOLD YOU EVERYTHING WE TALKED OVER!'**

**'Oh, come on, I felt left-out.'** - Malik pouted. The...the chibi eyes of doom.

- **' It's Unfair to use my trademark weapon on me, you know?**' - huffed Yugi.

* * *

Ryou cuddled his pillow in front of the tv screen. The „Edward scissorheands" was near the end and the whitenette put all his effort in preventing himself from crying.

Bakura took a sip of his beer and glanced at his hikari who didn't notice him sitting nerby, on the same couch, watching the same film. The yami frowned suppressing the urge to poke him in the cheek. He couldn't stop staring at the watery eyes. At the dancing-in-the-snowflakes scene the younger albino finaly snapped at sobbed to the pillow. His roommate sighed and murmured.

**- 'Landlord, it's only a movie.'**

Ryou jumped in surprise and immediately turned red, embarrassed about crying.

**- 'But...it's unfair. Th-they were awful just because he was...different.'**

Bakura frowned once again and drowned his former-host in questions.

- **'Words are words and actions are actions. Would you love somebody even though they were, as you put it...'different'? If they were feared by everybody, doesn't matter if the scaredy-cats had a reason or not? If nobody really accepted them? **_Shit, the brat is rubbing off on me, i'm going soft.'_

The younger blinked and a single tear fell down his cheek. Why did the former-spirit ask him all these things? Did he want to put Ryou in guilt, was he mad? The word 'nobody' hurt a little. Ryou decided it's time to give up. He unconsciously got on his knees to get closer to Bakura and patted him on the head, ruffling his tangled hair a little, not that it would change anything.

**- 'Everybody deserves second chance, and even if the group of people that care about you is not that big, it's always something. Just...hope you can find that person who will care about you no matter what.**' - He whispered and left to his own room, leaving the thief confused, not sure if he should be happy or sad.

* * *

DOOM DOOM DOOM

Big bossy pharaoh seems to be a coward, huh?

And bakura totaly fucked up here.

I promise funny things and fluff in next chap. I put too much drama and deep reflections here ._.

Sorry about that. Spilling my tendershipping heart in front of you is akward ;_;

Well, review to tell me what do you think. Point the mistakes n' shit.

English is not my native language so I wonder if my sentences aren't too...simple(?)

Duh, take this fanfic as my form of practise...Till the next chapter!


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